Role Playing
by Saavik13
Summary: "You are not a captain." Spock's voice took on a dangerous edge. "You are a doctor." Slash Mc/S


_Originally published in Spiced Peaches Twenty-nine_

* * *

"Really? You really have to mate or_ die_?" The smile was clear in the disturbingly familiar voice. "That's fascinating. And while I'll admit I've been in a situation or two that required similar actions, let's just say they were based on external stimuli. But you aren't restricted to that cycle are you? That would be _very_ inconvenient not to mention boring."

"No." Spock spoke softly into the darkness. "Although the majority of Vulcan does have a tendency to be less interested in such activities then the average human would appear to."

"Majority of Vulcan, but not you? Hmmm?" The voice inquired. In the darkness Spock could not see his companion's face but by tone alone he knew a lascivious leer was firmly on the other man's face.

"I fail to see the point to this direction of conversation." Spock gave a very un-Vulcan like sigh. "Should we not be attempting escape?"

"Plenty of time for that later. I'm in the getting-to-know-you phase of the adventure." The man moved closer. "We still have our clothes on after all. And no escape from nearly-certain death is complete without nudity."

"Really, Captain, that is most illogical." Spock shifted to move farther from his companion. The darkness was complete and the room they were hiding in was not large. No matter what direction he went in he could still feel the other's presence. "I find your nearness to be less then desirable, Captain Harkness. Please move away."

There was a sigh and an audible click. Dr. McCoy's irate voice suddenly replaced the more polished tones of the other man. "Damn it, Spock! This is _your_ fantasy! You said you wanted to experience 'sexual adventure' with your favorite fictional characters. I go to all the damn work of finding a voice modulator so I can sound like him. I fabricated a different cologne so I could smell different. Hell, I even tracked down the blasted coat! Then I manage to locate a suitable storage compartment, draft the backstory, and get you in here unseen. And you want me to move _away_ from you?"

Spock shifted uncomfortably. "I had not anticipated the full ramifications of attempting to enact such a fantasy."

McCoy ground his teeth in the dark. "And what would that be?"

Spock made a small sound of displeasure. "You are not Captain Harkness."

"No." McCoy bit out slowly. "I'm not. I'm the ship's doctor and your lover for the last six months. But I am trying over here and after all the wasted hours I spent watching that show just so I could get the dialogue right, _for you,_ you go all non-sexual on me. This was supposed to end in a glorious omni-sexual tangle, damn it!"

"You are not a captain." Spock reaffirmed in a strong voice. "You are a doctor."

"_That_ is why you can't get into the scene? My _profession _is keeping us from role playing?" McCoy growled. "Spock, I had to badger you for a month to find out you even _had_ sexual fantasies. It took me another month to get you to admit to what they were. Out of the dozen you confessed to, _this_ was the only one we could pull off without ship wide embarrassment, possible death, or starting a war. How long will it take me to get you to actually play along?"

There was a long pause. "I am uncertain. I find that the knowledge that you are you, not Captain Harkness, to be problematic. While the absolute darkness, the voice modulator, and the altered scent do help with this deception, I still know you are you. The difference between you and the character is interfering with my ability to, as you would say, play along."

"Am I not talking like him?" McCoy sounded worried. "I practiced for hours. I even had Sulu work with me on it. Apparently he's a huge fan too. He said I had the banter right."

"Leonard, while I find the knowledge you discussed my sexual fantasy with our helmsman disturbing, I can assure you your banter is not the problem."

"I didn't discuss your fantasy with him. Christ, give me more credit then that." McCoy sighed. "All he knows is that I'm knocking boots with somebody that's a consummate Whovian."

There was no response. "Spock?" McCoy asked softly. "Should we leave?"

"Leonard," Spock's voice was hesitant. "I think I have discovered the problem."

"Yeah?"

"You aren't a captain." Spock's voice took on a dangerous edge. "You are a doctor."

McCoy snorted. "I know. You're point?"

Spock shifted purposefully in the darkness and McCoy backed up into the far wall. "Spock, what are you doing?"

"I suggest you hold still, doctor." Spock reached out quickly into the darkness, his hand making contact with the doctor's leg before moving swiftly up his body towards his throat. His hand closed around the small device there and before McCoy could ask again what he was doing, Spock managed to dislodge the voice modular.

There was the sound of movement and McCoy held perfectly still as he heard the modulator's switch activate. He felt Spock's greater body heat get closer and could sense the Vulcan hovering over him in the darkness. In the captain's voice Spock purred into McCoy's ear, "Is that a screwdriver in your pocket, doctor, or are you happy to see me?"


End file.
